How To Be a Weasley Twin By Forge Weasley
by Evelyn Black
Summary: Just pretending that Fred and George wrote a book.


How To Be A Weasley Twin By Fred and George Weasley  
  
Step One:  
Forge or Gred?  
  
George: "In our third year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardy, around   
christmas time, we got our usual christmas sweatars from our mum. One had an F for   
Fred, the other with an G for me, George."  
Fred: "So, just for some fun, we thought we would make our names into one."  
George: "But the question was: Should it be Gred or Forge?"  
Fred: "So, to decide, we asked our friend, Lee Jordan."  
Lee Jordan: "So I said, whoever has the most freckles wins!"  
George and Fred: "Lee?!   
George: "This is our book!"   
Fred: "You can write your own later!"  
George: "ANYWAY, we counted freckles, I ended up with three hundred and for, Fred   
had three hundred and five. Though I reckon he drew on on with a marker"—  
Fred: "I did not! Why would I do something so stupid? I am a wizard you know."  
George: *smiles micheviously* "Oh so you did cheat then?"  
Fred: "No, but if I would have, I would have used a wand, not a marker."  
George: "Right. I'm better off without being Gred. He just wanted to be Forge bacause he   
knows I'm more popular."  
Ron Weasley: "Will you to stop it? Get one with the book!"  
Fred: "This is getting annoying. Next thing you know Percy will be comin"—  
Percy: "WILL YOU KEEP IT DOWN! I have a report to finish. I can't concentrate."  
George: "You can't concentrate???? This is our book!"  
Fred: "Ron, Perce, get out of here! We are trying to write a book!"  
(Percy and Ron leave, slaming the door)  
Fred: "Now, I won the contest, which if you try it yourself, whoever has the most freckles   
wins.  
George: "Now for step two."  
  
  
Step Two:  
Ways To Annoy Your Older Brother  
  
Fred: "Ah… one of my favorite things in life."  
George: "So much to do and say to annoy Percy. Where to start?"  
Fred: "Hmm I think a list will be better for this, then a couple of cautions.  
George: "Right. Sounds good."  
  
The List  
1. Change his Head Boy Badge to Bighead boy  
2. Send him drangon dung in the mail, making him think it's a sample of fertilizer   
from Norway  
3. Make noise, causing him to be annoyed. This one can be repeated as much as   
you want  
4. Call him Weatherby  
5. Talk a lot about Ludo Bagman Fred: "I don't know about that one George. I'm not   
too happy with Bagman at the moment."  
6. Offer him a ton-tounge toffee, or a Canary Cream   
7. Leave a fake wand where his real wand is  
8. Put beetles in his soup  
9. Replace the sugar for the salt George: "That's a muggle trick, Fred!" Fred: "Yes,   
but I works." * smiles micheveiously *   
10. Sneak howlers in his brief case, so bye the time he gets to the minstry, it'll have   
exploded   
  
DON'TS:  
1. Do any of this to your mum if she's anything like our's. She doesn't take kindly   
to jokes.  
2. Let anyone else in on the secret. Except your twin.  
  
  
Part Three:  
Things To Take With You To Hogwarts  
  
Fred: "Of course we won't bore you with all the spell books and such."  
George: "No, no. We'll give you the fun stuff to bring. * smiles micheveiously *  
Fred: "We do that too much George."  
George: "What?"  
Fred: * smiles micheveiously * "That."  
George: "Yes, it's a habbit."  
  
The List:  
  
1. Cockroach Clusters  
2. Sugar quills  
3. Pepper Imps  
4. Acid Pops  
5. Every Flavor Beans Fred: "Ugh! You still eat those?"  
6. Fizzing Whizbees  
7. Dungbombs  
8. Filbusters No-Heat Fireworks  
9. Droobles Best Blowing Gum  
10. Ice Mice George: "You eat those?"  
11. Exploding bonbons  
12. Screaming Yo-yos Fred: "Those were banned you know."  
13. Fanged Frisbees George: "Those were too."  
14. George: "And so's this. Ever-Bashing Boomerangs  
15. Canary Creams  
16. Ton-Tounge Toffee  
17. Hiccup Sweets  
18. Frog Spawn Soap  
19. Nose-Biting Teacups  
  
Fred: "If you really need an escape, use the dung bombs."  
  
  
Part Four:  
When you're bored at Hogwarts and you don't know what to do:  
  
1. Send Percy an annoying letter  
2. Blow up a toliet  
3. Set off dung bombs  
4. Go to Hogsmead, there's a secret passage behing the- George: "Fred! Don't tell!   
Make them ask Harry!"  
5. Go to the kitchens and ask the House Elves for food  
6. Play chess with Ron, though he'll more than likely beat you  
7. Play Exploding Snap  
8. Go to Quidditch pratice   
9. Annoy Filch   
10. Write your own book  
11. Go to the library Fred: "WHAT?" George: "Just joking, Fred." Fred: "You scared   
me for a second."  
12. Get into trouble with Filch, then set off a dung bomb, then grab something from   
one of his filing cabnets marked Confiscated and Highly Dangerous  
  
Molly Weasley: "Fred! George WHAT are you doing? Showing young children how to   
behave as bad as you?"  
George: "Uh no mum we were just uh- uh"-  
Fred: "We have to go now! Quidditch pratice you know."  
Molly: "Humph!"  
  
Forge would like to thank the following people for making this   
book possible:  
Moony  
Wormtail  
Padfoot  
Prongs  
Madame Pince  
Fred   
George  
The House Elves  
The Muggle who invented to mix salt with sugar  
The maker of the marker  
Charlie Weasley  
Bill Weasley  
Percy Weasley (for giving us ideas * smiles micheveiously *)  
Hermione Hranger (for telling us how to publish this)  
Zonko's Joke Shop  
Honeydukes  
  
  
Hi! Did you like the story? I hope so. If you did, please comment   
on it to Crazylilmaizy@aol.com . Thank you,  
Rachel Black  
  
Comments, For Forge:  
It's highly amusing but you'll be grateful you put an unburnable   
spell on it . ~Percy Weasley, formor Gryffindor  
"Is it my turn to write a book now?" ~Lee Gordon, Gryffindor  
Weasley, this my soon be put in one of my confiscat filing   
cabnets! ~Arugus Filch  
Could I have a copy of this? It shows true character. Ten points to   
Gryffindor. ~Albus Dumbledor, headmaster  
Fred! George! You told me you were going to write something   
educational! Though it is funny…"~Hermione Granger, Gryffindor  
What ststue?? ~Ernie McMillan, Hufflepuff  
Hey where did you guys get all these ideas? ~Cho Chang,   
Ravenclaw  
Snape is an ugly git! ~Harry Potter, Gryffindor  
=CHUDLEY CANNOS RULE!= ~Ron Weasley  
  
A Message From Forge:  
NO SLIMY NO GOOD UGLY SLYTHERIN IS ALLOWED   
NEAR THIS BOOK! Forge will personally put a lock to protect   
that.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
